I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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