We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
