bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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