just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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