you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
