the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
