4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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