It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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