please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
