There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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