whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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