I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
