Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
