she was so not down for the gang bang
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
