i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
