while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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