Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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