Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
My ATM looks so different sober.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
