i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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