Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
4 words: hood of his car
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
