You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
