i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
