I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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