ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
