Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
