PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
