I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
