Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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