I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
