I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
