left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
