**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
