Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
