Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
