"it" just moved
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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