Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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