I am puke
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
