i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
