I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
