I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
