Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
