hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
