Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just forgot I was standing up.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
