I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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