who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
