Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
