How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
