I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sorry about my life...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
