Already got asked if we're dating
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
