I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
