Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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