I'm jealous of your bromance
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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