I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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