i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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