my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
