My Higher Power is John Stamos
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
