New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I love you. Go after that dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
