I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
