That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I have already put on my inside pants.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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