At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize