What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
